Putting It All Out There

I finally had the courage and energy to update all my regular blogs with news of the stroke today. I don't know why I could tell the world of or infertility and losses, but this, so visible, seems more private and I long to protect my heart. I type today with one eye closed, the other eye watering, single-fingered, and my left hand crumpled against my chest. This is HARD, on marriage, our family, and my heart. I had no idea. But God is still good!

In case I have missed sharing any of this here, the bulk of what I posted to other blogs is as follows:
Last fall, Oct. 2011, I experienced multiple strokes with brain-stem involvement. I have vision loss, doubled vision, hearing loss, a partially paralized hand, and I cannot walk, so I have trouble reading or typing. I am posting updates at http://infertilitymom.blogspot.com/search/label/stroke if you wish to read news. I would be blessed by your prayers as I not only as I fight to recover from this near-fatal experience, but also as I prayerfully work on my next two books, first a devotional on The Fruit of the Spirit and then, if God allows, a Hannah's Hope-style-book on the Apostle Paul and living with chronic pain or illness.

Eye Update

I went to the neuro-ophthalmologist yesterday. We had a nearly 4-hour appointment and my case excited the doctor so much that he called his entire staff in to learn from my exam. Since my neurologist had said last month that I was a "great teaching case" I shouldn't have been surprised. But I am getting tired of presenting complications my doctors have mostly only read about it textbooks but rarely seen in real life. I left his office with several new diagnoses tied to the strokes including cerebellar disease. The good news is that my blurry vision is correctable with normal glasses. The bad new is that my double vision is not correctable even with prism glasses because my vision is "too bad". I might have surgery in a year or more if my vision stabilizes. I know we have much to be thankful for but today I am discouraged.

stroke update

It is about 3 months since my first strokes now. I still see blurry and double so have trouble reading. Can't use my left hand so typing is challenging. Need a walker or wheel chair and doctor say extent of my injuries is profound but hopefully I will mostly rebuild mental connections within two years. Thank you for prayers. Circumstances are hard but God is faithful and good.

six strokes

I just am home this week after having spent nearly two month in the hospital. I still can't walk without a walker, have lost half of the hearing in my left ear, my left side is partially paralized and my eyes are messed up. I've had six strokes and two surgerrs since late October.
Will write more details as able. Went to chiropracter who crimped an arterey and had ambulance ride to Urgent Care. Thank you to all who sent gifts or cards - God used you in powerful ways!
Follow my husband at https://www.facebook.com/ricksaake for updates.

My Next Book

I'm often asked when I'm going to write my next book. In reality I've been in the process of writing a book on the life of Paul as encouragement for living with chronic pain and illness for probably close to 5 years now. Since Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage & Adoption Loss took me about 10 years to write, that may not be such exciting news because it tells you I still have a very long way to go!

What I hope is more exciting, what I would like to ask you to partner with me in prayer about as God continues to unfold His plan, is that two of my other blogs, one on beauty and (now that I've gained more focus for what I want to do with this project) specifically Harvesting Hope from Heartache™, have becoming a launching pads for what I feel God is turning into my "next" book.

Yes, I'm continuing to work on the Given Me a Thorn too, but over the past year God has me focusing more on an exploration of the Fruit of the Spirit (a passage written by none other than Paul himself) through a series of articles I've been writing for Glory and Strength and my InnerBeautyGirlz blog. I've been working on a Bible study related to what He's teaching me and I've written much more than could be presented only in my articles, so I think God's growing a book out of all of this! :)

How does the Fruit of the Spirit tie in with Harvesting Hope from Heartache? I'm glad you asked. ;) It all has to do with sowing seeds, gathering fruit, and ultimately what Source my hope springs from. What better time to look to the Lord for help than in the midst of trials? I'm very excited to see how God is tying so many themes together in my life as He's teaching me through Galatians 5 this year! I pray that this book will be as much of a blessing to you as the journey has been to me.

It is my current goal to have enough of this study written and ready to present to publishers that I can begin the query process around the end of the year or in the very early part of 2012. Will you join me in specific prayer that God will give me His words to write and that this project will unfold according to His will and in His perfect timing?

If you would like to stay updated about my progress, I've just opened a new Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/HarvestingHope and would love to have you "like" me over there. :) If you don't do Facebook or would rather get updates via feeds, please follow my long-standing Harvesting Hope from Heartache blog directly. Feel free to pass these link along to your friends as well.

of Dinner and Crashes and Hospitals and Wheelchairs

Life can change so quickly! It seems like much longer than 10 days since we were posting about our first egg. (We've gathered eight now, by the way. We haven't figured out if we still just have one hen laying, or if a second friend has joined in egg production quite yet.)

Thursday the 15th, I had the joy and honor of attending the 7th annual I Hope You Dance benefit for Whittemore Peterson Institute. This is the 3rd year I've been blessed to attend and the first time I was able to go without my wheel chair. I have a few pictures to post (though I may have to "borrow" some from Lilly as most of mine turned out really blurry) and need to dedicate an entire post just to that event, so hopefully I will get back here soon to tell about that wonderful evening.

Due to some recent medication adjustments, my body did go into a "crash" after the excitement of Thursday night, so I spent most of Friday quietly in bed and in a fair amount of pain. It was a recovery day I hadn't mentally budgeted for, but it was doable. The kids were content to enjoy the spoils of my evening out and were great self-starters to get some school work accomplished on their own prompting.

Late Friday afternoon we received shocking news that there had been a tragic accident at our local air races, the third major disaster our community has faced since June. My Dad, who is a Chaplin for the Civil Air Patrol, was activated to go out and minister with the first responders. In the end, 11 people were confirmed dead and over 50 were hospitalized, many with injuries including amputations and other critical issues.

My sweet Daddy got a scattered 6 or so hours sleep in about 48 hours. On Sunday afternoon (while I was still home in bed in my own recovery phase) I receive a phone call from local EMTs that they had responded to a 911 call from his home and that he was himself in an ambulance on his way to the hospital. As the story was reconstructed, we learned that, though he had been intentionally conscious of drinking well, Dad had become severely dehydrated.

Between lack of sleep, the emotional strain of all he had witnessed over the weekend, and dehydration, he passed out, woke up and managed to call 911, then became totally paralyzed, unable to feel or move. Had God not provided the ability for him to make that phone call, and REMSA hadn't responded quickly, breaking down his door to get to him, he would have died on Sunday afternoon! He will be 69 in November and we are SO thankful that God still has more days planned for him here on earth.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I was running on adrenaline myself, spending many hours at the hospital and trying to care for homeowner's insurance claims (for the broken door) and care for other issues while my mom is out of state for her own medical treatment. (Mom's due home in just one more week now!!! She has seen dramatic improvement through FibroInnovations, another topic that will warrant its own post once she is back home and I can toughly interview her. :) ) I cannot thank my wonderful husband enough for all he's done to support and encourage me this past week.

Dad was released from the hospital on Tuesday afternoon and Rick brought him to our home for continued TLC. I was his transportation for the first few days, including getting him up to homeschool co-op to teach his Hermeneutics on Thursday (where the class met outside so that I could stay with them without triggering another latex reaction to the building that sent me to the ER a few months back), but he drove himself to his doctor's appointment yesterday morning.

Other than the need for later follow up on a blood sugar spike noted upon hospital admission (that was probably tied to the severity of his dehydration), Dad received a clean bill of health yesterday. He spent his first night back in his own bed last night. I talked to him on the phone this morning and he's going to take things very easy today. I'll probably ask him to join us for dinner again tonight if I have the energy to make anything.

In the meantime, both of our boys came down with nasty colds this week and our 11-year-old spent most of the week in bed. Even around all the craziness, we did manage to get most of a full week of school in and have studied world events outside the U.S. during the Civil War era this past week. We also read the entire Addy (American Girls) series in 5 days and started on our next Laura Ingalls Wilder book, On the Shores of Silver Lake.

In science we have looked at motion and velocity, acceleration, deceleration, momentum and force. Unfortunately most of the suggested science experiments called for the use a balloons, so we didn't do any hands on science activities this week as I find breathing preferable to latex reactions.

Surprisingly, while I am tired and have no doubt that my body has been pushed through both physical and emotional exertion over the past week and a half, I am doing better than I would typically have anticipated right now. I'm in bed this morning, but more by choice (wanting to give myself some down time to recover) than by utter necessity. I'm sore and not thinking as clearly as I would like, but I do have some reserves left to give if I need to use them, something I am not used to being able to draw on after so much upheaval from a week like this.

I'm doing well enough that Rick took our daughter away on an overnight trip this morning (the whole family had planned to go before the boys got sick), and I'm OK on my own to care for not only my own needs but for two sick boys and to be on call for my Dad too. This is so encouraging to me and helps me objectively see how far I've come over the past year. Doesn't this EMPTY wheelchair look wonderful?

Breakfast

Here's what we had for breakfast this morning. If you are wondering why it's so exciting, you may have missed our egg-cellent news from yesterday. :)

Big J. learned to fry an egg.

Yes, it was a small egg, but we split if 4 ways (Rick didn't want to try 1/5 of an egg) and each got one small, yet very tasty bite. :)