Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Mom Will Miss You

To put today's post in context, you probably should read the first few paragraphs of this post first.

Unless anyone has a living child, after loss, this might sound rather morbid, but it was humorous (especially after the fact, when I was relaying the story to my husband a couple of hours later) to me. Saturday, when I was having an emotional meltdown, one of the reasons I was crying was because it should have been about Noel's 17th birthday, had she actually been born near her due date. Actually I was crying more for me, thinking, "She got to go to Heaven and I didn't."

Our 6-year-old came up to me right as I was trying to stop crying and asked me what was wrong. I told him that it should have been his big sister's 17th birthday and I was missing her. Then our 9=year-old came up and asked what was wrong, so I told her the same thing. Because of the combined impact of the strokes and my tears, she couldn't understand my answer and asked her little brother to explain.

His explanation was, "Mom's going to miss you when you have your 17th birthday." I started giggling right through the tears. "Wrong big sister, Sweetheart."

Hard to believe we "would have" one starting her senior year of high school or first year of college this year! You are still loved and missed, Noel. I am so glad it wasn't our living daughter I was crying over this week, as I couldn't imagine living without any of the children we are so blessed to have in our lives today! But one child never "replaces" another and I still do miss Noel, Joel and Hannah too!

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