Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Life is Short

I hope this post isn't too much of a downer. I have a heavy heart tonight and just need to type it out somewhere. Since it doesn't seem like many people actually read this blog anyway, seems like a good place to work out my thoughts without casting gloom over too many.

This year I've had two author friends who had brothers-in-laws hit by drunk drivers. One was killed, the other is recovering surprisingly well. But both accidents were sobering reminders that life can change in the blink of an eye.

Last month a friend from Jr. High, whom I had only recently reconnected with via facebook, posted that her mom had died. It was sad to read as I remember her mother fondly and it was a bit shocking to think of someone as young as my own mom dying. But I hadn't seen the woman in more than 20 years and while I hurt for my friend in her loss, it seemed rather far removed from my own reality.

Shortly thereafter there was a terrible car accident in the dark of night at the intersection closest to our home. Three teenagers were life-flighted to the hospital while the mother of one lost her life that night. There was no alcohol involved just excessive speed and reckless driving. I knew no one involved in the accident, but heard the sirens that night and the roadside cross, about half a mile from the marker of a teen who was killed on the same road 2 years ago, is a sobering sight.

Then the weekend after Thanksgiving my parents learned that the son of a close friend was killed when he fell asleep at the wheel, driving back to college from Thanksgiving. I didn't even know the man, but because it hit my parents so hard, death seemed a step closer then.

And now, in the last 2 days, I have learned of three more deaths; the 2-year-old son of an online acquaintance who fell in the family pool, a doctor who had helped unravel some of my medical puzzle and treated me on several occassions, and now the mom of a very dear friend.
I hardly know the child's mother at all, just ache for her heartache as she faces gifts that will never be unwrapped under her tree.
But I had talked with my friend's mom, both face-to-face and over the phone, several times in the last couple of months, and suddenly she is gone. My heart is absolutely broken for my friend and there's this lump in the pit of my stomache that I can't shake away.
But my doctor's loss hits me perhaps hardest of all, for not only was I a patient OF his for quite some time, but I was also a fellow patient WITH him, just three weeks ago giving up my bed in the infusion room so that he could use it for what would end up being one of his final cancer treatments...

I know I am exhausted and sleep deprived after a week and a half of caring for family members with the flu, and that's definately impacting my emotional state at the moment. Physically I'm also struggling thanks to these relentless hives that have me more on edge than normal as well. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to accomplish with this post other than to say that my heart aches for all the pain so many are facing, and yet I am overwhelmed with the blessings of simply drawing my next breath and putting my arms around my loved ones. So if nothing else productive comes from this post, other than the easing of my own heartache by the therapy of writing, I beg of you to celebrate this moment and take time for those you love, because life is so very fragile and fleeting!


Joanne said...

What a truly sad post have a virtual hug from me and go look at my garden posts I hope some of them cheer you up.

Have a lovely time with your family over Christmas.

Lori said...

Bless your heart hurts so much these days and yet....I still thank God that the pain others endure is not mine to have because I just don't know how I'd be able to do it.

Your ministry in HP is amazing...and your faith in life, inspiring. Thank you.