I Miss My House

This video is great perspective. I keep reminding myself to focus on what's really important because "God's still on the throne."

I'm frustrated.

In the midst of the mess. By Jennifer Saake, November 2017

We had flood damage last winter and we are still living the consequences.

We thought we would have our house back together by 4th of July. By Labor Day. By Thanksgiving.

Now I'm hoping for Christmas

A moldy wall was torn out in May.

The wall finally went back up just this month when insurance finally agreed to cover 1/3 of the actual repair costs (far better than the 1/4 offer they made a month prior.)

Two tiny spots of mold we saw on a wall turned into an entire wall replacement, mold abatement, fireplace damage, carpet removal, and the tiling of the removed carpet area.

Believe it or not, we realized we could do a grand fireplace wall for less than twice the price insurance gave us to replace the generic-looking fireplace mantel that was mold damaged and had to be torn out. We learned this because, direct from the manufacturer, our old set was going to cost $3,600 to replace. Insurance only granted about $1,000 for fireplace repair, so we had to go looking for options within our budget. We'll be spending close to $2,000, so far more than what insurance is willing to pay out, but far less than replacing the like item to what was lost.

We are going from this,

to something similar to this (not our picture as ours is yet-to-be-built, but here's our inspiration picture we found on Pinterest).

Since insurance has unique math, the cost of the "entire room's worth of carpet" they credited us for, in reality, paid only enough the tile a small strip (no, not because of the cost of tile, because we chose the most economical way we could to stretch the dollars granted) of one end of the living room. Our plan was to save most of that room's carpeting by designing a new traffic flow pattern through our house.

Nice thought.

In reality, when the small strip of damaged carpet was cut out, mold was found to extend far under the living room carpet thanks to a mistake by our original mold abatement folks who had sealed WET carpet under plastic for five months, actually creating a problem that wasn't there to begin with! There solution for their mistake, toss the problem back in the laps of home owner's insurance.

Arrrgggg! 

Since we had already be credited to "replace" all of the carpet in the living room (again, can't figure out their math on how that was remotely supposed to work), the only thing additional insurance will pay for is the cost of carpet padding there. We haven't even bothered to ask how low that extra check will be. Let's just say, we aren't even factoring it into our resources at this point.

So now, re-tiling that entire room (since the tiling process had already begun on the original strip and we need to match the rest of the floor to what's already there, but our tile installer refused to do any further work unless we would rip out all existing carpet in that room) is a nearly $3,000 un-budgeted renovation project.

Before we realized the living room was going to need so much extra help, we had already committed to, and purchased supplies for, the same tiling to flow into our kitchen that has been in dire need (torn up trip hazard) re-flooring since before my strokes.That expense was to have been all our birthday and Christmas and Valentine and what-have-you gifts to each other for at least the next three years because it was so important and it was much more cost effective to do when we were already paying for the flood repair labor anyway.

I shared yesterday on my stroke blog, about my painting adventure that wouldn't have happened were it not for our unplanned remodel. This is a reason for rejoicing.

The house WILL be beautiful when the job ever finally gets finished (our installer has been averaging three or five tile rows a day and only works half days, two or three days a week, something we did not understand when we hired him, so it is very slow going). In the meantime, we are living with all of our kitchen and living room furniture, and unpacked contents, crammed into our dinning room.

I'm very thankful that my in-laws are hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year. I'm praying that we have a livable house to use in time for Christmas! The kids have already requested a tree, though they know the new floor where it is to be set up will be the primary present beneath it this year!

by Jennifer Saake, October 2017

Edited to add that life got even crazier just moments after this post went live. The house is one of three major, ongoing issues our family is surviving this year (and when I say "major," the family's car getting totaled, but no lives lost last Christmas, doesn't even make this top three list, so perhaps that offers a little perspective). We could really use your prayers!

Why I No Longer Practice Full Time Head Covering

Remember when I posted about headcovering a month ago?

There is still much I agree with in that post, all of my core points in fact.

There is also much I have changed my views on. Details about personal implementation. 

Nearly forty intensive hours of counseling, all packed into one week, can do that to a person, dramatically change some perspectives!

Profound movement of God, like I just experienced in the healing of my deafness, can make a girl re-evaluate opinions too.

So, I reiterate this point from my last post, "For those who already believe Jesus died and rose for you personally, have accepted Him as your Savior, I in no way wish you to feel I’m adding the weight of legalism. Christ died for your sins. No works are needed to finish His saving grace in your life! Jesus is enough!!! Just like neither baptism nor communion are requirements for salvation, rather God’s desired observances for his people who already know and love Him, I absolutely do not feel head covering to be a requirement for a Christian woman when it comes to the soundness of her faith in Jesus Christ as her saving and forgiving God of grace!"

I stand by my statement that, "I believe that Christian women [who] in the church [where] are called to cover [what] for prayer and prophesy [why]."

Where my views take a sharp turn away from my prior post concerns the how section of my prior post. Actually, all five of my thoughts listed under "how," other than my thoughts on staying fully covered at my children's school (a small part of point 5), are still valid. It is in personal application of those points that my view has radically changed.

Tonight. Outside my front door with an uncovered head!

I no longer feel compelled to practice full time head covering. Friends who have never seen my hair before are seeing it for the first time. This change in my practice of head covering in no way reflects abandonment of faith. In fact, my relationship with Jesus Christ is firmer than it has ever been!

On January 1, 2016, I posted this picture, saying, "My hair has grown a LOT, but [2015] was also the year, mid-year, when I decided that in addition to headcovering for spiritual reasons, I would also adopt the purely personal/cultural choice of no longer wearing my hair loose in public, saving it for my husband's viewing. Nothing to do with my faith, just a personal gift from me to him, so this as as "down" as you see it now:"

Sadly, as the months past, my personal "gift" did get totally entangled with my faith and views of head covering!

It is fascinating that I ended my last article with the statement, "I would simply caution against legalism. Whatever covering you are wearing should not become a source of piety, religious pride, a meaningless ritual, or covering for the sake of covering tradition rather than as a reflection of a heart seeking submission to God’s order of authority. Once the issue of if to cover gets settled in my spirit, my attitude behind the act of covering needs to be regularly taken before God in order to assure that my motives stay glorifying to Him!"

A legalistic attitude is exactly what I was developing. It took just a few questions from my counselor and another two questions from my husband, for me to realize I had developed a pharisaical spirit. I knew what I believed to be true, yet I had imposed further restrictions upon myself than God had ever asked of me. I was practicing false humility, feeling that if I concealed my glory (hair) full time, I was somehow bringing more glory to God.

This week.
I (butterfly top, to the right) am wearing a headband just because it is pretty (butterfly lace!) and wearing my hair down for the very first time these long time friends have ever seen it.

I was stunned to re-read my the bolded portion of my second "how" point/tip after I started thinking on the questions that were posed to me concerning motive. I wrote the words, but still wasn't getting the idea! "I don’t think God objects to cute or stylish head coverings, but simple would want us to be mindful of not detracting from Him, not trying to draw undo attention to ourselves. He loves us. He created us. He created beauty. He gave us hair for our glory. He isn’t trying to take anything from us, make us feel frumpy or self-conscious! It often takes some practice, time to explore our options, but if there’s a head-wear style that makes you feel beautiful but still focuses eyes (our own as well as the eyes of those around us) on Christ, when we find something we can wear with comfort and confidence in Jesus, that’s what we are looking for."

I feel I've been set free from a weighty burden. I still believe in and practice head covering for corporate worship, but that is joyful. When I stopped trying to add my extras to a simple instruction, my heart became so much lighter.

Want to read the story behind the story? Core Deep Lies will give you further background on this decision!

Not Impossible Afterall

Our 13-year-old has worn glasses for years. Last year her eye exam got WACKY results and the doctor, one of two optometrists in town, called me in, told me my child was emotionally disturbed, the results she was giving them had his entire staff convinced she was legally blind but he wasn't buying that because the kinds of answers she was giving were an "impossible" combination, and that she was outright lying to us and there was nothing he could do for her. Between my strokes and the intensive genetic workup (nothing found, but the workup involved many hours, nearly a dozen different doctors, 3 states, and a year and a half of stress!) she was undergoing, I figured there honestly might be an emotional element to her issues, so stuck with our previous prescription and let things ride. 

This week we went to a simple opthamologist (a step DOWN in medical training!) at our local WalMart and he got the same type of test result. When he started to tell me, I inwardly groaned, preparing for the lecture again. Instead, he gave me the bizarre results and immediately explained how rare her combination of answers were but that he though he knew what was medically going on with her eyes. He did a whole 3 more hours of unplanned work with her (for the single price of the original exam!) and by 6 last night we finally had a working prescription that corrects her eyesight to nearly 20/40 vision (yes, not 20/20, but she has apparently never been corrected to a perfect 20/20)! This will be HUGE for her! Now praying the glasses will actually preform as expected when they come in early July.

She's giddy to have a doctor who actually worked with her eyes to find a solution and I'm so relieved to both find her the needed help and not be told she is impossible again! Thank you Walmart Reno - Damonte Ranch Pkwy!

Saake Summer 2016

I haven't abandoned this blog. Life has just kept happening!

Let me hit the highlights.

In September, 2015, I had my second hysterectomy (finished up everything left behind seven years before, cleaned out new endometriosis growth, took my appendix). Is it ever wonderful to be rid of all that pain. I was so bloated and miserable!

Swollen much? My pre-surgery tummy!

The same month I made a decision, after 3 prior less determined attempts, that I was going to cut all wheat from my diet. (I'm happy to report that I'm still what-free, now migraine-free, down 20 stubborn pounds from my post-op appointment weight (when swelling was already greatly diminished!), and generally feeling much healthier.)

Earlier this spring, 2016.

This year, our 10-year-old earned best behavior in his entire class (measured in "Falcon Feathers" collected throughout the year). The school took him and a few other class winners to a day of mini-golf. Today is his very last day of 4th grade already! He will have a week with grandparents, a vacation Bible school (VBS) week, and a week away at church camp this summer. I'm excited to have several weeks to spend with him myself before school starts again in early August.

Our 13-year old won a generous cash prize (enough to pay her tuition to a special math and science camp she wanted to attend in July) by taking first place locally, then second at state, in an essay contest on patriotism and freedom. The week before math camp, she will be taking a trip (her first time ever to fly as an airplane passenger, though she has been in the co-pilot seat, typically in control of the flight stick, of private planes since she was 8-years-old) to Oshkosh, Wisconsin to attend airplane camp! She won that trip due to a second winning easy through her flying club. She plans to have enough flight hours to earn her pilot's license next year when she is old enough to qualify. She finishes up her year of free voice lessons (from the talent show she won last year) this month and is already begging to take up horseback riding, as she finally got her first taste of the sport this past weekend. She plans to dissect a frog, a fish, several other small animals, and teach her little brother to dissect a worm, over her summer break. She will also spend a week helping direct crafts in my mom's church's VBS.

Our 16-year-old just finished his Junior year of high school. He is spending nearly 9 week living 5 hours from home, interning at Stanford University in a medical office. He left Tuesday morning. We hope to take a weekend trip over to visit him over the summer. He is going to be so changed, so grown up, after a summer of full-time working, research, and managing his own laundry, budget and meals! He may take a evening college course or two as well, while he is over there. For several months we were thinking he might skip Senior year and start college this fall, so I'm thrilled to know he will be moving back home for another high school year at the end of July! When he gets back to Reno, we should finally have time in his week home before the start of the new school year, to get him to DMV to get his driver's license!

Rick started a new job with Nobel Studios in February. He also serves as family logistics implementation and taxi driver! If anyone deserves to earn a trip (or a  new car, or lawn service for the year, or a personal chef who actually knows how to cook...), it is this amazing, dedicated guy! Satan wanted to destroy our marriage through my strokes. I'm so thankful God won!!! I am blessed beyond words to be married to this man.

I am still doing water therapy at least twice a week (sometimes 3 times) and riding an exercise bike, gifted to me by a couple at Sunday School, several non-pool days. I've made myself very sore with a couple of 11 or 17-mile mornings, but I typically average 7-9 miles, 2-4 times per week. Tuesdays are my dedicated writing days. Thursdays have been Bible study mornings, then lunch with the girls, so I get home about the time my kids get off school. (I'm taking the summer off to be home with my kids another day per week, though.) So each week has just one week day for fitting in doctors and dentists and errands and chores. It is a full and busy rhythm, but I am so thankful to be at the stage of stroke recovery where I no longer juggle a dozen or more medical appointments each week! Considering that I "should" be dead or lying in a nursing home, that I get to lead this life is beyond amazing!

My rose garden this morning.

The past couple of weeks I haven't been riding my bike much at all, managing only 3-5 miles when I do. I've missed some water therapy too. In fact, I'm not really even managing to keep up with laundry and dishes and writing and meals well, as my stroke nerve pain as well as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) seems to be in a bit of a flair. For example, I took an amazing week-long trip to the Mount Hermon Christian Writer's Conference in March (total God provision, read about it here) and did amazingly well physically, both there and upon return, but the weekend trip I just took for Memorial Day is hitting me harder than that whole week! My doctor is assisting me in the last 20-30 pounds I need to loose to get back to my pre-stroke range and I really don't think this medication plays nicely with CFS, but I'm willing to pay the price as I know my weight-loss treatment is short term.

From our Memorial Day weekend. 37 of us gathered at Lake Tahoe to celebrate Rick's aunt and her best friend, for their 70th birthdays!

Other recent exciting happenings around here are that our van decided to commit suicide (throw a piston rod, and we had already decided at last major repair it wouldn't be cost effective to repair another catastrophic issue in that 18-year-old vehicle) on our way home from our Tahoe weekend. Thankfully, when we lost power to both both steering then breaks, Rick was behind the wheel (and handled the emergency SO WELL, I must add!), not our student driver! Thankfully we were already off the freeway and close to home, so Rick managed to limp the poor thing into our cul-de-sac, smoke billowing (too bad it didn't catch fire and take car of disposing itself!) and fluids hemorrhaging, where it died, never to start again. Always wanting to be a mom of many kids, a minivan was always my "dream car." I guess that life chapter is now over. We are now car (or small SUV, something that easily accommodates my walker or wheelchair, along with 3 kids) shopping.

And last, but not least, I wanted to share that as excited as our daughter was to learn to ride horses, I confirmed a new passion this weekend as well. I have wanted to take paining lessons since before I had kids. Water color, I thought. On Sunday I had a chance to try acrylic paining on canvas (one of those sip and paint party places). I felt like a whole new world opened up to me, a brand new area of my heart came alive! To say I loved the experience would be an understatement. I'm not skilled, but the feeling of swiping vivid color across clean, white canvas, just wow! Took me by surprise in the intensity of emotion!!! I'm officially hooked. When and where can I sign up for lessons?

Our daughter's dedication to me on the back of her own painting. :)

A Month of Thankful Pictures

Of course I had the best intention when I started out on a 30 day journey of blogging thankfulness pictures this month...

I made it almost half way through the month! Do I get extra credit for posting a recap and transferring my facebook list over here (I did better there than on this blog!) before the month ends? I truly am thankful, for ever so much! I'm just a sadly undisciplined blogger! #30DaysOfThanks

I already linked to days one and two above, in short I shared thankfulness for Christian freedoms, fellowship and worship in our country, for my strokes and all God's teaching me as a result, for ministry opportunities.

So thankful I have a new body coming!

Day 3 was all about my Daddy.

On Facebook, I also shared, I'm so thankful for my Kathy who gives up a day of her life every two weeks to come help me clean house and invest in friendship! 
heart emoticon Tomorrow is a Kathy Day!

On Nov. 4 and 5 I shared exciting news about our 12-year-old pilot daughter and about my slowly improving post-stoke voice control.

Days 6 and 7 were thankfulness for a recent health scare that turned out not to be a problem after all, thankfulness for our homeschooling years, and an extensive, specific list of many people, ministries, authors and organizations who have profoundly touched my life. 

Day 8 was a celebration of my precious husband!!!

9 was thankfulness that I've recovered from surgery and can return to water therapy to get my body functioning as well as possible again. 

Day 10 brought praise for a snow delay and also amazed wonder about Rick's grace.

Day 11 briefly acknowledged our veterans (with a promise to go into more depth later in the month), and was unfortunately the last post I managed to get up on the blog, but a fitting one to revisit on this Cyber Monday, a thanks tribute to small business women in my life and links to lots of businesses, a fantastic shopping guide!

OK, now to grab the ones I missed here off of Facebook: Some silly and small, all important to my heart!

12 -  I'm thankful for our pastors/church family.

13 - I'm thankful for writing progress this week (this is still such an agonizingly slow process this time around!).

Three generations of Camp/Saake women. Community Bible Church, November 2015, Reno, NV.

November 14 offered prayers for all impacted by the Paris attacks  and, "I'm thankful for the rare treat of getting to attend a lady's tea at my mom's church today. Great fellowship, sweet speaker, beautiful decor, yummy food (though I didn't stay wheat free today!)."

15 - Not written in sarcasm. A true praise after one of my worst stroke symptom days in two years! "Thankful that every day isn't as physically nasty as today has been!"

And my Mommy brought me a warm, yummy pot of soup to feed my family that night!

16 - I'm back to the basics today. I'm thankful for clean drinking water that I don't have to walk 3 miles for with a jug on my head each day!

17 - Thankful that I got one load of laundry and one dishwasher load done today. Tomorrow I hope to do more!

On a side note Rick Saake took this picture in Reno, Nevada tonight:

(c) copyright Rick Saake, Reno, Nevada, 2015

18 - I wasn't able to read Rick Saake's updates as they unfolded 4 years ago. I only, last month, figured out to enable the "on this date" look back feature on Facebook, not specifically for any reason or awareness of dates, just because I occasionally saw friends posting what had happened on various dates in their lives, so I figured it would be fun. 

Each day this month has been filled with Rick's recording of our lives unraveling 4 years ago. The medical as well as peeks into the emotional and spiritual struggles and questions too. So often my throat tightens and my eyes get hot as they prick with un-fallen tears (I wish they would fall - I hate the way my emotions are still so messed up!) both from the flood of my own memories, but also to read the events through his eyes, the love and grief poured out. heart emoticon Thank you for loving me well when I could only TAKE and not give back, Sweetheart.

19 - God know best - 

My friend Jeanette sees this right now too - http://jeanettehanscome.com/three-years-later/?fb_action_ids=10153144931586022&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=.Vk5WX28aAyh.like

20 - Where we were 4 years ago. I actually remember this conversation (or at least one like it), where I turned my head toward Rick (couldn't see well enough to actually focus on him, but I remember knowing he was standing between my bed and the bright spot that was my window) with tears in my eyes and told him that I was scared and that our kids were too young (5, 8, 11) for me to leave them yet. I don't think the forward will show up for everyone, so I'll paste.

My friend Stephanie Shargel Bishop wrote, "It's official; I'm a wreck tonight. While I've shed tears for my friend Jenni Saake over the last several weeks, tonight it's progressed to me sobbing and crying my eyes out. If you can walk; if you can hold your children and raise them at home; if you can speak and hold your head up on your shoulders; will you please, in gratitude for these little blessings that we all take for granted, stop what you're doing right now and pray for my beautiful friend Jenni. Here's the most recent update from Rick:

Update 11.20.11:

We just got back from visiting Jenni in the Rehabilitation Hospital, it was a pretty solemn time. We received confirmation that she has had a/an additional "event or events" in the last 3-4 days that has effected an additional 2 parts of her brain. Currently, unless she is lying down, she has no control over the muscles in her neck, and her head bobs back and forth, and she is having difficulty with short term memory. Both Jenni and I are concerned, but have both come to the realization that we have no control over these "events".
We know that she is being moved back to the neurological floor at the main hospital, and that they will most likely be recommending us having a stint put in the ventricular artery, where the damage from the chiropractor happened. 
Jenni's greatest fears right now is that she will never make it out of the hospital, and that the kids are too young to be without their mother. I am at a point where I don't have the answers for her except that God is in control.

21 - I'm thankful for page numbers on my manuscript. Yes, I do the bulk of my writing on the computer, but some things can only be edited or worked out on paper. I would be SO lost without these little numbers!!!

22 - I'm so excited for my friend Shelly Benoit Hendricks is the release of this book. The cover is perfect!!!

Give the gift of HOPE this holiday season!!! 
http://amzn.to/1I8Rpit

I had just gotten down to from size large to size small before my strokes. Even went out and bought a new jacket to celebrate my weight loss just DAYS before the strokes. By the time I regained enough dexterity to put that jacket on again, I had dropped an additional 15-20 pounds, put all that weight back on, and was well on my way up into larges and XLs again with post-stroke weight gain, so it hangs in my closet nearly unworn still. Today, Mom and I finally had a chance to take my birthday (nearly 4 months ago) shopping trip with the gift card she gave me clear back in July (I'm sick, she is sick, I have sick kids, or something else unexpected happens each time we have tried to go before). I got some cute deals like a hat with patriotic bow and scarf with BUTTERFLIES all over it. 

Just as we were headed to check out, I found an adorable top on clearance for 90% off, but the only size they had was medium. For the price, I added it to my purchase thinking I might be able to use it some day. Guess what? Today is some day! The medium fits me just fine! My ‪#‎30DayOfThanks‬ praise for day 23 is that my new diet lifestle choice is showing encouraging results on nearly every level! Weight is VERY SLOWLY creeping downward, but inches of belly fat dissolving is the real tell!!! ‪#‎NoWheat‬

24 -  I'm not in surgery this morning. (4 years ago today's date, though it fell on Thanksgiving Day that year, I spent the morning in two back-to-back, life saving surgeries.)

25 - My Most ‪#‎TreasuredGift‬

Christmas Eve, 1999, I came home from the hospital with a tiny two-day-old baby. Sweet story. Rather unremarkable sounding. Folks bring home babies every day, year round...

What made this event unique was the years of ‪#‎infertility‬ that had proceeded his birth, all the yearning and striving and longing and heartache and tears and doctors visits and surgeries and losses (of dignity as well as of chances to parent), exchanged in a moment by the wonder of this child the hospital literally placed in a Christmas stocking for me!

It had been 5 years since the Christmas we thought his big sister would be joining our family, a Christmas subdued by pain and grief and numbness and tears. A new child would never "replace" the one who did not come home, but his addition to our lives certainly brought a level of healing previously unknown in our hearts.

And now this perfect living, breathing, miniature (less than 5 pounds, a whole other aspect to the miracle journey!) infant wriggeled beneath the lights of our Christmas tree, mirroring the wonder of the Christ-Child whose humble birth we celebrated from 2,000 years prior.

Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake

And the best "thing" I ever received? Several years (and two more losses and two more living children) later, one Mother's Day, my husband presented me with a beautiful gold mother's necklace with a charm for each of our six children, the three treasures I am amazingly blessed to hold in my arms as well as the three blessings I forever hold in my heart. I added our first daughter's baby ring to the chain and wear it on special occasions, but hang it where I can see it daily. (Thank you for sharing the journey Rick. You are an amazing Daddy.)

26 - Thanksgiving Day - Also Ralph Camp (my dad)'s 73rd birthday! - 

Dad saluting in the blue Navy cap, just home from a veteran honor flight this month!

27 - I'm thankful to live in a day, and country with access to amazing medical know-how and ability.

28  - Posting this verse specifically for our youngest. "They will rejoice in the bounty of the Lord." Jeremiah 31:12

heart emoticon

After a good but physically long holiday weekend where I had several food issues due to my picky body needs, "I am home. I get to sleep in my own bed tonight and eat my own food again and get to return to my regular therapy schedule my body likes best! "

29 - Our house has great windows that don't let in the damp cold!

Love these thoughts on choosing your priorities. Maybe you love The Elf, or Santa Mouse or... Great! Joy, not stress! - http://www.foreverymom.com/this-is-why-the-elf-is-not-on-my-shelf-and-why-im-not-even-kinda-sorry/#.VlvYF-MSdoE.facebook

First Sunday of Advent

Today. day 30, I shared, Here's my Cyber Monday contribution to the economy. My friend Tami sells these adorable LuLaRoe Tami Majtan "butter leggings" (butter referencing softness) and I've already had her keeping an eye out for anything (she sells a great line of dresses, tops and skirts too!) in a butterfly pattern for me. 

Today she posted these bears. If you know me, that's about as good as a butterfly, my pre-stroke favorite animal! I'm so thankful for the trickles of book royalties fom Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake that let me make fun little splurges like this occassionally! ( ‪#‎30DaysOfThanks‬ )
Can't wait to see Tami later this week! smile emoticon I don't know if I will quite fit the leggins yet (maybe?) but they are good inspiration to keep fighting to move that scale downward! ‪#‎NoWheat‬

Final praise to post this month, I finally got all these thankfuls and pictures listed together in one place! For this fact-keeper with poor memory, that is important and has been concerning to me for days now! Joyful relief!!!