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I'm feeling grumpy tonight, so read at your own risk. ;)
I've already gotten past 21 out of 24 IVs. I have another one tomorrow and then only two more. Then end is so close now! I should be feeling very encouraged, but instead I find myself absolutely dreading tomorrow. I don't think the fact that it will be Valentine's Day has anything to do with it, I'm just really tired of these things. I want to be done. I don't feel good. I'm not seeing positive results that they are making me feel any better (though there is some impressive lab evidence that they are at least temporarily doing positive things for my body according to IL8 inflamation markers), but I have such nasty reactions to them and I just feel so yucky from them and I don't want to keep going through this.
I had my last one two weeks ago, felt actually pretty good the day immediately after IV (usually that's my worst day, so this was a very pleasant surprise), but then have felt bad for all 12 days since and haven't had any "upswing" like I usually do toward the end of the week after an infusion. I still feel nasty and I have to start all over again tomorrow. I just want to crawl under a rock and hide rather than offer up another vein for IV puncture, strap on my oxygen tube and gulp down another mega-dose of Benadryl.
Thanks for letting me whine a bit and even more so, thanks for the prayers. I know we are almost done. I know God's got a purpose in all of this. I just need to take it one moment at a time and be thankful that I actually get to go in early tomorrow, thus will be home with my Sweetie earlier than usual too. I'm also going to take a few chocolate covered strawberries to my nurse, so it will be fun to brighten her day a bit as she is away from her sweetheart on Feb. 14 and babysitting me instead.
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6 comments:
Even if you know you are going through this for a better outcome, if you don't feel well, you don't feel well. Suffering is suffering, and noone likes it or wants it. It's hard to stay upbeat and positive when you simply just hurt.
I'm sorry you don't feel you are getting more relief from your treatments. I imagine that is frustrating and I pray for comfort and peace for you as you finish them off!!!!
Almost there!
Counting them down with you!!
Thinking and praying for you my sweet friend. I received your new year's news about the past two years just the other day! My MIL sent it to me through mail with some Valentine stuff. It came to my new address since we moved 10 months ago. Did you get a Christmas photocard from us?
I had no idea all you had been through this past few years. I have been wanting to be in touch with you on a more frequent basis.
I don't have your email and would like to! You can email me at waitingforheavenATgmailDOTcom.
Love and miss you,
Miriam W.
Jenni, is burbur an option for you? It is supposed to help detox the body to lessen die-off symptoms. No doubt those IVs are killing lots of critters, which then float around in your blood and make you feel miserable. It's worth a shot! I can't believe you're down to your last IVs--be sure and fill us in on what is next for you, and in the meantime...hang in there!
Jenni, is burbur an option for you? It is supposed to help detox the body to lessen die-off symptoms. No doubt those IVs are killing lots of critters, which then float around in your blood and make you feel miserable. It's worth a shot! I can't believe you're down to your last IVs--be sure and fill us in on what is next for you, and in the meantime...hang in there!
Congratulations Jenni you are the winner of my carnival of give-away prize. Please email me your address so I can mail you the prize.
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