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Rick and the kids come home tonight. I am so excited! Rick called yesterday morning to try to let me hear music from Its A Small World, my favorite ride and a special part of our dating story.
Yesterday my mom and I enjoyed 6 hours out shopping, mostly at consignment stores, our favorite. We were afraid we would get kicked out of multiple fitting rooms for our hysterical fits of laughter when I got stuck in clothing I was trying on and couldn't figure out how to get them back off with a dead left arm. (I did not buy any outfits that "trapped" me no matter how nice they looked on!)
I did spend about an hour in a wheelchair, and there were other times sitting for lunch and in the car, but otherwise I spent lots of five hours on my feet with the walker. I told my mom I had to make up for all those months I wasn't able to shop! I got several long skirts, a shirt, a couple of longer winter-style dresses (it was 70 yesterday, but I'm sure we will have snow in April), an adorable set of Disney overalls, and some cute hats. Thank you for the fun play day, Mom!
I'll have to do a separate post on my hats someday. Love them, and they give me more peace about my short hair. It has to do with a Bible verse God showed me last year, and a personal conviction (I hesitated to share publicly for over a year because I don't want anyone else tied by what's it has taken me nearly 40 years to feel convicted about). I have a sweet friend who know how much my hair upsets me and she's encouraging me to buy a wig, but I think I've decided to just stick with hats and wait for my hair to grow again.
This morning my circulation seems to be better as I woke up to find my left foot isn't purple like it usually is in the morning. I guess it liked all that time upright yesterday! This morning we are going to pick up a few things at Wal Mart then go to my Mom's choir practice this afternoon. I kept busy and survived another week!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
More Than Meets the Eye
"So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it
often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where
God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.
These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times,
the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets
the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the
things we can't see now will last forever"
(2 Corinthians 4:16-18 The Message).
This morning I was excited to wake up see I was only seeing one mirror on the dresser in my right field of vision. I was confused because images to the far right, overhead and especially to the left were still noticeably doubled. When I shifted my head just a tiny bit on the pillow the mirror was doubled as well. I finally realized that the bridge of my own nose had been blocking the view from my left eye at the angle I first woke up this morning. Overall I would say the double images are moving a little closer together, overlapping each other at times, though when I intentionally try to focus and draw the pictures closer together, they tend to drift farther apart. The neurologist still couldn't ger my left eye to move clear to the left, but another friend commented yesterday about how much better my eyes look.
(2 Corinthians 4:16-18 The Message).
This morning I was excited to wake up see I was only seeing one mirror on the dresser in my right field of vision. I was confused because images to the far right, overhead and especially to the left were still noticeably doubled. When I shifted my head just a tiny bit on the pillow the mirror was doubled as well. I finally realized that the bridge of my own nose had been blocking the view from my left eye at the angle I first woke up this morning. Overall I would say the double images are moving a little closer together, overlapping each other at times, though when I intentionally try to focus and draw the pictures closer together, they tend to drift farther apart. The neurologist still couldn't ger my left eye to move clear to the left, but another friend commented yesterday about how much better my eyes look.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Today
I took a shower by myself this afternoon. I still had to sit down, using the "3-in-1" chair and my mom stayed right outside the shower door in case I needed her. It was pretty short, and maybe not as though as I might normally take, but I did it myself, my first independent shower since October!
It was another busy day. A friend came to clean my house (again) and my mom and I went out to brunch with her. After some down time and the shower, my parents drove me to another friend's house for over an hour of visiting this eving, right before dinner. Both were delightful times!
I am so thankful to be moving forward, though my therapist warns me I will, most likely, soon hit a plateau when I'm not seeing the forward progress for a season.
It was another busy day. A friend came to clean my house (again) and my mom and I went out to brunch with her. After some down time and the shower, my parents drove me to another friend's house for over an hour of visiting this eving, right before dinner. Both were delightful times!
I am so thankful to be moving forward, though my therapist warns me I will, most likely, soon hit a plateau when I'm not seeing the forward progress for a season.
Laughter, The Best Medicine
Another 6-year-old funny. J-Bear shares a room with his 12-year-old brother. By personality, Big J. is very neat and precise while J-Bear is very free-spirited. The other day J-Bear told me that Big J.'s "room is all clean, except for my stuff." The "except for my stuff" part was an understatement because their room was an absolute disaster, but J-Bear was right that his brother's stuff was all picked up and put away while his was not!
We shared a pastry the other day, cut in three pieces. J-Bear went home and told Rick, "We shared it in three quarters."
Rick bought me an orchid a few weeks ago. He gave me a funny look when I was reading the care instruction. When I read, "Keep away from drafts," he thought I said, "Keep away from giraffes." We have been careful to keep an eye out for those apparently orchid-loving, long-necked creatures ever since!
We shared a pastry the other day, cut in three pieces. J-Bear went home and told Rick, "We shared it in three quarters."
Rick bought me an orchid a few weeks ago. He gave me a funny look when I was reading the care instruction. When I read, "Keep away from drafts," he thought I said, "Keep away from giraffes." We have been careful to keep an eye out for those apparently orchid-loving, long-necked creatures ever since!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Broken Brain
I thought of one more J-Bear funny. For several weeks after I came home from the hospital he (just 5 at the time) was explaining what was going on to anyone who would listen, saying, "Mommy broke her brain." :) I have mental images of a cast over my face!
Today's Appointments
I got up this morning thinking I would be smart and compose most of this post early in the day so I could add my updates from today's appointments and be done. The more I typed the more I had to share so my "draft" became a post of its own. Now I can tell you about today...
I walked quite a bit in therapy, without anyone holding on. I still am far from graceful, but it is progress. In the midst of one of my laughing fits I noticed a well-dressed gentleman in a suit standing at one of the desks, watching us. I made some comment to my therapist and he said that was his boss, who also worked at the rehab hospital so I might recognize him. As it turned out, he was the head of the therapy department at the hospital and I had also become good friends with his mother when we were next-door-neighbors as fellow patients in the hospital. It was cool that we both remembered each other and I could get a brief update on his mom!
The TMJ is doing better. He found some more really sore spots again today, but overall we are seeing some improvement. Yesterday I yawned and didn't have terrible pain for the first time since I woke up in the hospital. I still had some pain then, and it was more sore again today, but such a blessing and relief not to be in agony!
My neurologist seemed pleased with my overall progress and surprised to hear I was walking without even a walker in therapy. He said he's never so glad to be proven wrong as when a patient does something he never expected them to do. He noticed that my hands are in pretty bad shape, even my "good" right one, so he wants me to restart occupational therapy for them. He wrote the order today, but I don't know when that will start or how long insurance will cover me.
That's it for today. Thank you for your ongoing prayers!
I walked quite a bit in therapy, without anyone holding on. I still am far from graceful, but it is progress. In the midst of one of my laughing fits I noticed a well-dressed gentleman in a suit standing at one of the desks, watching us. I made some comment to my therapist and he said that was his boss, who also worked at the rehab hospital so I might recognize him. As it turned out, he was the head of the therapy department at the hospital and I had also become good friends with his mother when we were next-door-neighbors as fellow patients in the hospital. It was cool that we both remembered each other and I could get a brief update on his mom!
The TMJ is doing better. He found some more really sore spots again today, but overall we are seeing some improvement. Yesterday I yawned and didn't have terrible pain for the first time since I woke up in the hospital. I still had some pain then, and it was more sore again today, but such a blessing and relief not to be in agony!
My neurologist seemed pleased with my overall progress and surprised to hear I was walking without even a walker in therapy. He said he's never so glad to be proven wrong as when a patient does something he never expected them to do. He noticed that my hands are in pretty bad shape, even my "good" right one, so he wants me to restart occupational therapy for them. He wrote the order today, but I don't know when that will start or how long insurance will cover me.
That's it for today. Thank you for your ongoing prayers!
Re-entering Life and Re-visiting The Past
I had a dream last night that I could type using my left hand. It was slower than it used to be and a little bit awkward, but still reasonably fluid. I woke up this morning to find that was not the case. But I did manage to send my Dad a brief text message last week and I did use my (slow) left thumb to type part of it!
I still need to gain both strength in and control over the left arm, but we still aren't doing much with it because of the shoulder problems. I did notice in the mirror this morning that I am holding my shoulders more evenly whereas I had been carrying the right one much more tensely and higher up ever since I came home from the hospital (and maybe there too, though I couldn't see any mirror to find out). I am still holding it a bit high, and my left shoulder is slightly dropped, but the shoulders are visibly more even. I still tend to hold the left arm clawed and pulled up close to my chest unless I make a focused effort not to.
We had a big day yesterday, going to a lady's lunch with my mom's church, then surprising some friends with a visit (great hugs!), then going back and visiting the rehab hospital where I stayed last fall, then going to Bible study last night. Thanks to my mom and dad for driving me all those places! I have not had such a "normal" day of real life in nearly half a year!
I got to hug some of my favorite nurses and CNAs, see many of my therapists, talk with the medical transport guy who drove me to and from the hospital several times, and visit with my (Christian) doctor for about 1/2 hour. I still ask your prayer for T. - I did not see him yesterday, but he was a CNA who had especially touched my heart. Before I left the hospital he was expressing interest in finding a Christian church and his daughter had just broken her leg during her birth.
While there, another doctor (who had provided my weekend care) stopped by and was amazed at my progress. She kept shaking her head in disbelief and mumbling something about, "six strokes." She said when she had first seen me, she didn't expect me to recover. But she called me a "miracle" (maybe this will be a cracked open door for my regular doctor to share the Lord's power?) and said I was an example of hope for every stroke patient they have seen.
This is similar to the EMT who took me back to the regular hospital after my 4th, 5th and 6th strokes and before my stent surgeries. She had responded to the initial call when I had my first two biggest strokes and nearly die, though I was unconscious then and didn't actually meet her. I was feeling pretty rough when I headed back to the hospital this time. I explained to the EMTs that I had had 6 strokes, as most presumed from my uncontrollable head movements that I had been in a serious car accident. One of the ladies said she had responded to the first call and said I "looked so much better now." It made me realized that I must have looked truly horrible the first time around if this was "better."
We know that it is all by God's grace and to His glory that I've seen the improvement that I have! I hadn't realized how poor my prognosis until the doctor revealed she hadn't expected to see recovery yesterday. And to think this was one of my rehab docs who didn't even meet me until over a month after the first strokes! I honestly still don't know what to think about where I had been, or why God has gifted me with such unmerited blessings in recovery! (Thank you all for your ongoing prayers!)
It seems painfully slow to me, especially when I talk to other patients who have had strokes and regained function in a matter of "days" or "weeks". But on the other side of the coin I know of others who have not regained from my extent of looses even in a year or more, if ever.
My mouth is a barometer for me as are my eyes.When I feel recovery is going, "too slowly" I remind myself that my tongue still feels burned and numb and I'm still fighting double vision - these are two areas I cannot change with any amount of therapy, so they are ongoing reminders of my brain injuries and reminders that no matter how much I fight, this is all going to take time! The weekend therapy doctor did mention yesterday that my eyes, while still not moving exactly together, are noticeably improved. Even I can see the difference in a mirror. My primary rehab doctor said it had pained her to see my eyes before.
I'm feeling stress in being in my 5th month of recovery, as several medical professional have told me that the majority of my healing will take place buy 6 months. I do not want to slow my progress forward! Many have told me that the deficits I have at one or two years will be with me for life, but I've talked to stroke patients who are still seeing minor improvements after 10 years, so I am choosing to take their stories to heart over the "experts".
It sounds like the kids are having a blast at Disneyland. When they called me yesterday I asked J-Bear (6-year-old) if he was being a good obeyer. Instead of answering, he quickly changed the subject by saying, "I love you, Mom. Bye!" Rick said he was actually doing pretty good, so I guess the short attention span came from excitement, but it still was pretty funny. Another recent J. funny came when I was trying to talk to him about the strokes and using the experience to talk to him about the Lord. I found out how ineffective my talk had been when, at the end, he looked at me with huge, brown eyes and innocently blew my illustrations out of the water with, "But Mommy, you didn't go to Heaven after your stokes. You went to the hospital."
I'll post more, probably this afternoon or by the weekend, if I have anything to share about today's therapy or neurologist sppointmennts.
I still need to gain both strength in and control over the left arm, but we still aren't doing much with it because of the shoulder problems. I did notice in the mirror this morning that I am holding my shoulders more evenly whereas I had been carrying the right one much more tensely and higher up ever since I came home from the hospital (and maybe there too, though I couldn't see any mirror to find out). I am still holding it a bit high, and my left shoulder is slightly dropped, but the shoulders are visibly more even. I still tend to hold the left arm clawed and pulled up close to my chest unless I make a focused effort not to.
We had a big day yesterday, going to a lady's lunch with my mom's church, then surprising some friends with a visit (great hugs!), then going back and visiting the rehab hospital where I stayed last fall, then going to Bible study last night. Thanks to my mom and dad for driving me all those places! I have not had such a "normal" day of real life in nearly half a year!
I got to hug some of my favorite nurses and CNAs, see many of my therapists, talk with the medical transport guy who drove me to and from the hospital several times, and visit with my (Christian) doctor for about 1/2 hour. I still ask your prayer for T. - I did not see him yesterday, but he was a CNA who had especially touched my heart. Before I left the hospital he was expressing interest in finding a Christian church and his daughter had just broken her leg during her birth.
While there, another doctor (who had provided my weekend care) stopped by and was amazed at my progress. She kept shaking her head in disbelief and mumbling something about, "six strokes." She said when she had first seen me, she didn't expect me to recover. But she called me a "miracle" (maybe this will be a cracked open door for my regular doctor to share the Lord's power?) and said I was an example of hope for every stroke patient they have seen.
This is similar to the EMT who took me back to the regular hospital after my 4th, 5th and 6th strokes and before my stent surgeries. She had responded to the initial call when I had my first two biggest strokes and nearly die, though I was unconscious then and didn't actually meet her. I was feeling pretty rough when I headed back to the hospital this time. I explained to the EMTs that I had had 6 strokes, as most presumed from my uncontrollable head movements that I had been in a serious car accident. One of the ladies said she had responded to the first call and said I "looked so much better now." It made me realized that I must have looked truly horrible the first time around if this was "better."
We know that it is all by God's grace and to His glory that I've seen the improvement that I have! I hadn't realized how poor my prognosis until the doctor revealed she hadn't expected to see recovery yesterday. And to think this was one of my rehab docs who didn't even meet me until over a month after the first strokes! I honestly still don't know what to think about where I had been, or why God has gifted me with such unmerited blessings in recovery! (Thank you all for your ongoing prayers!)
It seems painfully slow to me, especially when I talk to other patients who have had strokes and regained function in a matter of "days" or "weeks". But on the other side of the coin I know of others who have not regained from my extent of looses even in a year or more, if ever.
My mouth is a barometer for me as are my eyes.When I feel recovery is going, "too slowly" I remind myself that my tongue still feels burned and numb and I'm still fighting double vision - these are two areas I cannot change with any amount of therapy, so they are ongoing reminders of my brain injuries and reminders that no matter how much I fight, this is all going to take time! The weekend therapy doctor did mention yesterday that my eyes, while still not moving exactly together, are noticeably improved. Even I can see the difference in a mirror. My primary rehab doctor said it had pained her to see my eyes before.
I'm feeling stress in being in my 5th month of recovery, as several medical professional have told me that the majority of my healing will take place buy 6 months. I do not want to slow my progress forward! Many have told me that the deficits I have at one or two years will be with me for life, but I've talked to stroke patients who are still seeing minor improvements after 10 years, so I am choosing to take their stories to heart over the "experts".
It sounds like the kids are having a blast at Disneyland. When they called me yesterday I asked J-Bear (6-year-old) if he was being a good obeyer. Instead of answering, he quickly changed the subject by saying, "I love you, Mom. Bye!" Rick said he was actually doing pretty good, so I guess the short attention span came from excitement, but it still was pretty funny. Another recent J. funny came when I was trying to talk to him about the strokes and using the experience to talk to him about the Lord. I found out how ineffective my talk had been when, at the end, he looked at me with huge, brown eyes and innocently blew my illustrations out of the water with, "But Mommy, you didn't go to Heaven after your stokes. You went to the hospital."
I'll post more, probably this afternoon or by the weekend, if I have anything to share about today's therapy or neurologist sppointmennts.
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