Monday, March 26, 2012

5 months

On Sunday we took my smaller walker to church, instead of my wheel chair, for the first time. This was exactly 5 months since the first strokes.

Today I was able to walk the length of the hall with only two therapist on stand-by (walking with me, ready to catch me if I fall), by no one touching me, three different times in the same hour! I did still need my legs to be weighted. Anyone seeing me walk like that in public would think I was drunk, and I still have to learn to keep my arms down to my sides, but a few weeks ago, I was just starting to take a few aided steps in therapy at all, so this is very exciting progress!

I was even able to hold a few brief conversations while I walked, something I had not been able to do before.

Thank you for your prayers. My therapist said that the parts of my brain that were only bruised (not killed) seem to be starting to healing and my brain is learning to rewire to rework new connections around the parts that have been destroyed.

Switching to the smaller walker seems to be forcing faster healing, as I was not safe to use it before (high fall risk with any form of walker but my big, sturdy one) but now I have to rely on my own balance to prevent multiple daily falls with this one because the new walker is so much lighter.. Every time I almost fall and can recover, my brain is learning what to do and what nogt to allow my body to do in the future.

 Please keep G. and my whole therapy team in your prayers. Their salvation would make this experience seem to hold a more tangible purpose!

Rick and the kids made it safely to their hotel, after a 10-hour car ride. I struggled a lot with fear last night and this morning, but today I'm trying to focus on remembering Romans 8:15, "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' (NIV, 1984).

I also really was hit by my own emotionalism. I tried so hard not to cry, but while I might have been able to wait until my family left, or at least keep most of the tears at bay, before the strokes, there was no such control now. I blubbered last night and again before they were out the door this morning. I was still crying a good half hour after they left. I didn't mind that part so much (though my eyes still feel salty and caked), but I was really mad at myself for not being able to prevent or even slow the tears before they left.

Tomorrow Mom and I will go back and visit the rehab hospital where I spent parts of November and December. I am so thankful for all my parents are doing to take care of me while my hubby is gone!

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