Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Overwhelmed

I have an online friend who describes herself as "fully-whelmed" and I love that description. That's what I aspire to be, fully present in life, filled to the brim, but not overflowing, at least not in a desperate way. As God's been teaching me about joy and peace, I find myself more and more feeling contentedly-whelmed, but sometimes a week like this one just sneaks up on me and I find myself trying to tread water to keep afloat.

I won't go into all the details, but in the past week:

- I've learned that a very dear friend whom I journied through infertility and losses with, lost her battle with cancer, leaving behind a husband and the after-infertility miracles so fought so hard to bring into this world. She was diagnosed just after her youngest's birth and lived to see only the first four years of his life. Her twins are slightly older than our daughter and her oldest is a young lady just a year older than our oldest, on the threshold of womanhood, now finding the way without her mother's loving guidance.

- On Sunday I jumped back into IVIG after a month break. Other than four huge bruises from mis-started IVs and a few random hives, I handled this round pretty well, but it really knocked me for a loop energy wise, sleeping through most of the infusion (except for when I accidentaly pulled out my own IV line two hours in and had to have it restarted), and down pretty hard most of Monday and Tuesday.

- Had friends we hadn't seen in nearly a year over for dinner last night, got to see their new baby, and the reality that they are moving out of state hit hard.

- As adults visited, kids invented a new game that involved bouncy balls and jumping off the bed, leading to...

- Long night with an (almost) 4-year-old crying over back pain from head-first fall he took in said newly invented game!

- This morning spent at ER to confirm no spinal injury, just a mildly bruised kidney. No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

- We celebrate the births of two of our sweet blessings this weekend, with a little boy turning 4 on Saturday and a beautiful princess venturing into 7-hood on Monday.

- We will miss the actual celebration of our 7-year-old's special day because we will be on the road to Stanford for my next exhausting appointment with Dr. Montoya.

Yes, today I'm truly overwhelmed, over-tired, and overly emotional. But God is still God and God is still good. For all the painful, there is much blessing. Tonight I'm looking forward to Mom's homemade soup and the company of my family as I snuggle down and thank God for His blessings.

1 comment:

Julie D said...

So sorry to hear about Shelly. :(