Saturday, April 3, 2010

After-Infertility Easter :)

It's been a long day, a long week. Taxes are finally all but filed (we have one more piece of information to track down before hitting "submit") and physically I wasn't sure I was going to be able to push myself through the day. With throbbing hands and arms after a half hour of putting R.'s hair up in curlers, the kids' bedtime rolled around at 8 and I wanted nothing more than to crawl in bed myself, but we hadn't begun preparing Easter baskets yet, so I knew that wasn't an option.

Filling eggs, hiding eggs, setting up baskets, it was tempting to see the task before us as overwhelming to this pair of parents fighting aches, pains and exhaustion, but the next two hours turned out to be such a joy. I remember too many years of longing for the chance to be given the option of trading sleep for preparing late night surprises. I ache for my friends still in the journey as I reflect on so many Easter mornings I met with tears as adorable children arrived at church in Easter finery. I remember too many years when I couldn't wonder in Resurrection because the sting of the grave was still much too personal and too close. (If this is where you live right now, please know you are in my prayers, many of your specifically by name tonight!)

It's times like this when I'm most thankful for infertility, that the journey to parenthood gives me perspective on the privilege we've been given. Once baskets were filled and eggs were hidden, my heart was overflowing and while still physically exhausted, I just longed to make it a memorable morning for my family, so I pulled frozen cinnamon roll dough out of the freezer and got a beautiful springtime breakfast table all set, complete with flowers that I know will make our daughter's heart sing.

And tomorrow will be a very special day for our family in more ways than I had ever imagined. Not only will we together be celebrating Christ's victory over the grave, but R will be joining us in communion for the very first time and Little J. will be attending church for the first time as a new Believer! Yes, on Wednesday, March 31, our sweet 4-year-old became no longer just our physical son, but now our spiritual brother as well, asking Jesus to forgive his sins!!!

Oh grave where is your victory? Oh death, where is your sting? Praising God for turning our mourning into gladness and giving us the gifts of our miracles babies, along with His only Son!

Editing this on Wednesday morning to add a link to Holley Gerth's You're Delightful post as it is such a beautiful tie-in, written from the perspective of one still jouneying primary infertility.


Hannah said...

What a beautiful post! I'm sure watching their faces was worth the extra work and staying up late. :) Hope you had a wonderful Easter!

I was a little sad about not making up any Easter baskets - I tried to talk my husband into letting me make one for him, but he was not enthused! ;) But that's ok. We spent a nice Easter with our nephews and nieces, and we do truly believe that our day is coming.

Stacey said...

Lovely post. I enjoy reading about your perspective on parenting after infertility. Hoping to be there myself one day soon!

Happy Easter!